The Balancing Act of Motherhood

I've been thinking a lot the past few days on motherhood, how various women respond to the role, and what my response is. 

There seems a prevalent tendency in our society for children to be relegated to the back burner of the parent's lives. They are inconvenient draining burdens. Even within the church, as often as people say "children are a blessing", only some live as though they truly believe it.

I am so blessed to be Tiernan's mom. It's not always easy, but he really has blessed us beyond my dreams. I do not want to miss a moment. Yes, there's a lot to do. It's way too easy to get caught up in getting stuff done, whether that is personal interests or careers, or just being a model housekeeper. But I want to do things with him, to watch him grow and learn and discover the world. I have heard far too many parents attest that their child-rearing years passed far too quickly to not believe that it is going to be over before I know it. Twenty years sounds like a lifetime to me, but it's going to pass before I'm ready.

On the day that Tiernan gets in the car and drives away to college or whatever God has for him, I do not want to look back and regret that I did not take the time to enjoy every stage and season I shared with him. I don't want to wonder, "What did I do with my time?" I want to be able to look back on the years and cherish the memories.

Yet at the same time, there is another extreme that I want to avoid. It's the mothers who become so wrapped up in their children that they themselves cease to exist for any other purpose. They become overprotective, clingy, and have trouble letting go once their children mature into adults.

On that day when our youngest child leaves the house and we are officially empty-nesters, I do not want to look in the mirror and realize I have forgotten who I am without my children. I do not want to look across at Robert and wonder who he is or what we are doing together.

I am a mother, and it is a large part of my identity for this season. But it cannot become my sole identity, for it is only a season. That is why I try to take time to nourish our marriage; to work on hobbies like woodworking, art, or music; to be myself without constraint. My role is to actively, presently, and joyously raise my children up and send them out; not to ignore, not to hoard. There is a balance to attain.